We come to praise fine propagandistic songcraft and to announce the coming of the beast.
Veteran Christian-music producer and artist Ian Eskelin could have chosen anyone to deliver his Trump homage "The Chosen One," but his dove descended upon the head of Texan Natasha Owens, whose variegated career was wandering in the desert until she went political last year with "Trump Won" (merch available). Now, 20 pounds lighter and still carrying a given name that rolls easily off Putin's tongue, Natasha Owens possesses the cred and the voice to carry the flag one hill higher.
To correct a misconception: Some have heard a particular line in the song as "There's only one God, and he's still on the throne." Natasha actually sings, "There's only one DON," indicating we should consider Trump an earthly potentate, one who might be exiled to Florida or Elba but not dethroned, and never will be until he dies, elections be damned. The lyric also clearly conjures a mafia boss in a big chair, a don whose ring must be kissed. A deity, no.
A messiah, yes, and here's where the theology gets slippery. God's chosen one, in Torah terms, is a messiah, literally "anointed one." Thus the first kings of Israel, Saul and David, were specifically chosen by God and anointed with oil, the hairspray of the era, by his prophet Samuel. Later, a messiah (christos in Greek) came to mean a priestly, political and military figure expected to restore a nation that had strayed after false gods and had ceased killing queers. Jesus Christ was one of many men thought to be this messiah, but the only one widely considered divine (though not by Jews, for whom this was blasphemy).
Ms. Owens bravely begins by testifying that Trump's not divine, only human. Whew. (He does receive Judas kisses from betrayers, though.) Owens begs us to lay down our stones, Judaism's handiest means of punishing sinners, implying that we should abandon the goshdarn lawsuits, because although Trump gets in a mite o' trouble now and then, what with tryin' to toss over the gov'ment and so on, he stands for freedom and -- wait for it -- truth. Natasha's standing with the chosen one.
Extra points accrue to "The Chosen One" for the chorus' spooky melodic resemblance to the Jardiance diabetes-drug jingle -- same key, even. When the Jardiance woman sings "I'm lowering my A1c," we can now imagine, "I'm lowering my AOC."
Summation: Trump is a sinner, but like Jesus, he was divinely chosen to deliver us from evil. We can forgive him his trespasses so that the Kingdom of God may come.
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The answer to the Lord's Prayer? That's one religious way of looking at The Don. (A don in the Italian mafia is short for "lord"; Donald in Gaelic means "world ruler.") Another way can be found in Revelation 13.
Revelation's visionary author, John of Patmos, beholds a beast coming out of the sea (Mar-a-Lago). It has feet like a bear's. (When Trump was shot, his first thought was to ask for his shoes.) It has a mouth like a lion. (John perhaps meant lyin', but to underline John's point, the video for "The Chosen One" contains a feline King of Beasts.) The beast gets its power from a dragon, which can only be Putin. The beast suffers a head wound, which is healed. Fascinated, the whole world follows after the beast, saying, "Who can compare with the beast or who can fight against it?" The beast utters proud boasts and blasphemies (for instance, as quoted in the video, "I am the chosen one"). It is given authority to rule for 42 months. It is allowed to wage war against the holy ones and conquer them, after which it conquers the world, and they worship it. After that, comes . . . the SECOND beast, and all heck breaks loose. You've probably heard of Revelation's End Times.
Of course, Revelation was originally intended as not-so-subtle code referring to the political world of the Mediterranean in the 1st century C.E. But we can interpret it any way we like: The tradition of reframing scripture to fit the times goes back earlier than Jesus, who practiced it to justify, among other things, his title "son of God" (John 10:34-36). You could call it exegesis. Or you could call it retruthing. Amen.
THE CHOSEN ONE
I'm not sayin' he's somethin' divine
He gets in trouble baby time after time
He's controversial but one thing is true
Imperfect people are perfect -- God can boost
I'm standing with the chosen one
Ain't no stopping what the Lord's begun
He's only human, like you and me
Just a chosen one, the chosen one
This great nation, it is under attack
And its real leader has arrows in his back
So many greet him with a Judas kiss
But God gave us a warrior for such a time as this
I'm standing with the chosen one . . .
Brothers and sisters, lay down your stones
There's only one Don, and he's still on the throne
I'm standing with the chosen one . . .
He stands for me, he stands for you
He stands for freedom, he stands for truth
Trump is the chosen one.
NOTE: MetalJazz has transcribed these lyrics as faithfully as its human ears can hear. And by the way, Natasha, thanks for using your voice rather than an AR to deliver your message. That's what freedom's really about.
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Watch "The Chosen One" video here.
Watch the Jardiance commercial here.