Keep the plague going! Live shows are so much more fun without the hell of other people.
In the case of the Darkness' nearly yule-free Xmas netcast, the experience was especially improved by the lack of audience participation. Lead shrieker Justin Hawkins pointed his microphone at the camera and held hand to ear, pretending to appreciate how we mangled his choruses and how inaccurately we mimicked his oo-wee-aah improvisations. He even mounted a roadie's shoulders to bronc-ride around the vacant floorboards of London's 02 club, giving us a sweaty taste of his nonflesh.
No bodies and no crowd noise also made for sockin' audio that optimized the Darkness' beefy '70s guitar tones and the pure rock thump of drummer Rufus Tiger Taylor. And we could snigger at more distinct lyrics -- the vividness of "You look so happy when you're carving meat" ("Heavy Metal Lover") and the way "Heimlich maneuver" is compelled to rhyme with "hors d'oeuvre" ("Choke on It").
So many hard & heavy riffs, such deft single-string interplay between the guitars of comical Justin Hawkins and bluff younger bro Dan Hawkins, such ridiculous aerial vocalzing on "Japanese Prisoner of Love" and "Buccaneers of Hispaniola" among many others -- the lineup of around 20 songs nailed down the argument that each of the Darkness' five inconsistent studio albums has excreted considerable bullion. Judging by bathrobed bassist Frankie Poullain's fingerpicked acoustic-guitar intro to the sincerely insincere ballad "Confirmation Bias," and the vast colorations young Taylor's many drums brought to each song, the talent continues to burgeon.
And what rock figure emerged in the last two decades can rival lanky, cut, tattooed Justin Hawkins? Top-shelf songcraft, singing and axwork are boosted by a casual gymnastic ability to perform dangerous leaps, kick plectra into his palm, and even clap his feet together in self-applause while standing on his head. Loved the scarlet nail polish! Even when the fringe of his red jumpsuit got caught in the tuning gears of his Les Paul, it came off like Spinal Tap stagecraft.
"Easter Is Canceled," proclaimed the Darkness' fine 2019 studio album, and the band begged absolution for their presumption. Well, they can scrub every holiday, as long as they keep manufacturing alternatives as good as this. One thing that's hard to forgive Justin Hawkins: He gave some square dentist a whack at his snaggled English choppers. Conventionalized.