My email inbox has been blessed with thousands of attractive offers.
"How Monkeys Could Fix Your Bedroom Problems." "Two Ways To Make Your Meat Look Bigger." "Hijack Her Sexual Brain With This." "Four Signs You Are About To Die of a Heart Attack." "Truth About Fungus."
How did they know that I am impotent, have tiny equipment, and desire to have non-consensual intercourse? How did they know that I have a bum heart and gross toenails?
"Dementia News." "Massive Mistake Melts 48 Pounds off Her Body." "One Bathroom Trick That Cures Diabetes." "A Biblical, Non-Insurance Approach to Health."
How did they know I have lost my mind? How did they know that I am fat, and that I solve all my health problems by reading Scripture?
"You Can Use This Laser With Either Hand." Thank God!
"Would You Feel Safer If You Carried a Gun?" Yes, and even safer if I carried one in each hand.
"Beyond Simplex." Now, that is just poetry.
How did they know that I have skin tags and ringing in my ears? How did they know that I snore and have bedbugs? How did they know that I love Russian women, and that I require drones and tactical flashlights to spy on them?
How did they know that I put CBD in my scrambled eggs? How did they know that I have a bad back, use portable oxygen tanks and collect Trump coins?
Thankful for their insight and compassion, I have given these email saviors every dollar I had, and many dollars I did not have. As a result, I am much happier. Some of the products are taking some time to arrive, but postal delivery can be slow these days, especially from China.
Arriving from Wuhan right on time, though, were the very nice (and extremely cheap) blankets with the Huron Indian patterns. True, they had a funny smell, but that went away -- in fact, I don't smell much of anything now, anywhere. Better that way.
The electronic offers have diminished lately, which increases my loneliness and makes me worry about the senders. I hope they have not died.
Anyway, I can tell myself that rather than ignore my many deficits, I am doing something about them. Sitting around just makes you fat.